The Birth of Baby #3

Not a Pre-Planned Birth

During this blogging experiment, I have been planning and awaiting the arrival of Baby #3. She was due 8/24/12. Like my other babies, that due date came and past. My other two births were pushed along before my body went into labor. For this birth, I was worried that my husband would not be able to make it from work in time. My last labor was only 3 hours and I was thankful that we lived near my husband's work. Now we are in the suburbs and my hospital was even further away (a two hour trip from his office to the hospital). I could use a closer hospital but there is nothing closer that has midwives. So I tried to "plan" the birth! The day before my due date, my husband took the day off and went to my midwife appointment with me. We hoped that she would strip my membranes and send me into labor. Unfortunately the baby was not low enough yet and she worried that the cord could get in the way. So instead we had a "date" and went out to lunch and for a 3 mile hike in a nearby national park. We decided that we would just wait for the baby to be ready and run to the hospital as soon as labor started.

The Birth Story of Baby #3

The three days leading up to my labor, I felt different. I felt the need to sit down for no particular reason. My body does not tell me when I am in early labor so this might have been early labor for me. On the night of 8/30/12, I was mentally ready for the baby to come. I had done several tricks to relax my cervix and my husband was going to be working from home the following day (the eve of Labor Day weekend). It seemed like the perfect timing for the baby to make her arrival. It was almost midnight and I started to have a lot of back pain with a lot of downward pressure. When I stood up, I felt the baby drop so low that she felt like she completely opened my cervix and was between my legs. The back pains were very uncomfortable and I was exhausted from the day. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. I realized that the most intense back pains were coming every 10 minutes thus my labor had started. This baby, like my others was posterior so I get excruciating back pains (plus those regular contractions but who cares about those when my back was being stabbed!). I decided to try to talk myself out of the labor so I could get a little sleep and feel more rested.  I could not lay down because the baby was between my legs and it was extremely uncomfortable.  So I propped myself up on pillows and slept sitting up in bed. I woke up four hours later and was no longer in labor.  Labor restarted at 9am when I was getting ready for my 10am midwife appointment.

On the way to my 41 week midwife appointment, I realized that I was in labor but my contractions were only 10 minutes apart so I thought that I had plenty of time. At the appointment, I felt constant back pain and the need to do small hip rolls although the strongest contractions were still 10 minutes apart. My mom and daughters were in the exam room with me and the kids completely sensed my labor and fought the whole time (after 9 months of them being perfect at my appointments).  I had to send my mom out of the room bribing them with lollipops.  Yes, I knew I was in labor because my kids drove me crazy! My midwife checked me and I was 6 centimeters dilated!  She looked at me in confusion and surprise because I was not in the "heavy labor" that most women would be in at 6 centimeters. I must have been having mini-contractions that were just causing back pain between the larger contractions. At this point, I knew that it was time to head to the hospital that was luckily only five minutes away.

At the hospital, while waiting a few minutes for my room to get ready, I entered active labor so my husband and I did our slow dancing routine during contractions. Slow dancing with him makes my body feel fabulous through contractions and we both love how close we feel with each other. The first 20 minutes in the delivery room had to be spent hooked up to monitors according to hospital protocol. Of course this was not so fun in active labor but I was able to move around and rock my body through contractions. My husband massaged my back and pressed it with a warm pad to help ease the extreme back pain. My previous babies were also posterior so I experienced the same sharp back pains with contractions. This time the back pains did not subside between contractions. I remembered my NYC yoga instructor's advice to go right into the pain and hit it face on with deep exhales (Melissa Feldman -- I still love the Dark Vador exhale)! It is amazing how facing pain head on made my body really release natural pain killers. Or did it make me go into a trance? I don't know but it worked.

During the last contraction on the monitors, my body knew that it was time to move on and my exhale turned into an orgasmic song. The midwife joyfully announced "that's the baby" and I was thrilled to finally be allowed in the jacuzzi tub that I had been eyeing. As soon as I slipped into the tub and put my back against the jets, I was so at ease. All of my back pain went away and my body fully relaxed. I felt like I was on vacation (minus the pina colada and palm trees)! My body gave me a little break from contractions. When the contractions started again they seemed so mild in the water and the tub had taken away my back pain. My husband slipped into the tub behind me so I could use his knees to hold onto. In just a few minutes, my body felt like it was ready to push the baby out and I soon felt my body pushing so I pushed too and the baby came right out in one long push.

The baby, my husband and I enjoyed a beautiful couple minutes embracing each other skin to skin in the tub. I could not believe how great my body felt from being in the tub. When I got out of the tub, and rested with the baby on my chest, I was surprised to have no tares and a placenta that pushed itself out (this was a change from my past tares and pain pushing the placenta out).

Baby Katja Elizabeth was 8 pounds 7 ounces and 20.5 inches long, born posterior after a 3 hour labor! My baby was born loving to suck and insisted on sucking my breasts for her first 1.5 hours of life!

Looking Back

Baby Katja met her sisters a few hours after birth.

It is now a week later and I am still shocked how wonderful the water birth was and would recommend that every pregnant woman get herself a good MIDWIFE and a TUB!  My hospital was far more nurturing and had much warmer staff than I experienced with my NYC hospital births. I was glad that I did not do a home birth (which I wanted with birth #2) because I really needed the distance from my kids. After they would visit for 2 hours each day, I was ready for them to leave and to enjoy quiet time when my baby allowed it.

I am thankful for my body. Genetically I have an incredibly shaped pelvis that has allowed me to easily deliver three posterior babies that most women would require a c-section for. I am also thankful for keeping my body in shape while pregnant. Up until the end (and post due!) I was at yoga class, hiking in the forest, taking my older kids for outings and eating very healthy (especially avoiding sugar and processed foods). This allowed my body to labor nicely and for it to already be in good shape post-partum. All of that coconut oil that I rubbed on my tummy paid off because I still don't have any stretch marks.

Encapsulating my placenta again was a priceless idea. The day that I came home from the hospital, the idea of taking care of a newborn that requires so much time while my older kids were crying, demanding attention, etc. was a stressful thought. I knew that I would have my placenta pills in another day and told myself to save those thoughts until I had my pills. Indeed as soon as I started taking them, I felt so much more at easy with my mothering abilities. My own mother is here to entertain the older kids and keep the house afloat so the real test will be when she leaves us!

I am reminded again that every baby is different. This is the first of our babies that wants to co-sleep.  Katja and I did not sleep well in the hospital with all the interruptions and her wanting to suckle constantly. I even tried a pacifier and sent her to the nursery one night for someone else to hold a pacifier in her mouth so I could get two hours of straight sleep. As soon as we were home in our own bed, Katja was so happy to just sleep cuddled next to me. Last night she even went 6 hours between feedings!

I thank you all for following this blog and will now search for what I should do with the roughly written information that I have posted here.

Warmest regards,
Elizabeth

Yes I am cloth diapering this baby!

My method: a prefold diaper in a cover.
image: www.omahababystore.com

The main reason why I love cloth diapering is that I love knowing that my baby's diapers are not going to sit in the landfill! The way that I wash diapers once a week is ABSOLUTELY more environmentally sound than disposable diapers. Of course it is also nice to know that my little one's skin does not have the carcinogenic bleaches and chemicals rubbing against her sensitive genitals. Both of my kids were out of daytime diapers at 18 months and I attribute this to them "feeling" wet in their cotton cloth diapers (and some reading that I had done about early potty training).

Act I: The Diaper Service

When my first baby was born in our little NYC apartment (no washer/dryer), we used a diaper service for the first 6 months. It seemed nice because we didn't have to deal with the laundry or the up front investment of diapers. The diaper service only used the prefold style of diapers pictured above. Once a week I would put a plastic bag of dirty diapers outside my apartment door and the service would replace it with a plastic bag of clean diapers. Here is what I learned from the diaper service:

• It is okay for dirty diapers to sit a week in a plastic bag (websites everywhere tell you to wash them every 2-3 days).
• The heavy duty "prefolds" that the diaper service use are easy if you pre-fold them in the shape that you need.
• The covers are very easy to hand wash (since I didn't have a washer) or throw in the cold wash weekly.
• I loved 100% cotton was against my baby's skin. Other types of modern cloth diapers (like the "all in ones" and "inserts" are synthetic fleece).
• The diaper service was using bleach and I did not want that up against my baby.
• $20 per week is way too much money to pay for diapers. This is what I was paying so I entered Act II below.

Act II: G-Diapers

Friends had told me about "G-Diapers" that appeared to be like the prefolds that the diaper service was using except that instead of having to collect and wash the prefolded fabric, you would use and flush a pad that fit in the diaper cover. I had heard from experienced moms and read about how they work best once the child starts solid foods and has solid waste so we waited until the 6 month mark. This system was ingenious for us because our building had industrial toilets that could handle the load and it made diapering really easy. It also cost half the price of the diaper service and I didn't have to remember to put diapers out on a certain day. Then we went away for 2 weeks and used disposables and got a diaper rash that just would not easily go away. I was using un-natural creams with all sorts of chemicals that I did not want to be using. I realized that the best thing for my baby would be to have that nice 100% cotton of cloth diapering against her skin so we moved on to Act III below and ditched the diaper creams.

Act III: Cloth Diapering at the Laundromat

Since I loved the 100% cotton prefolds (instead of the synthetic modern fleece diapers), I stocked up a supply of prefolds and was shocked at how inexpensive they are! I quickly learned that you MUST buy the more expensive heavy duty laundry service quality prefolds. I used basic covers like the Prowraps and Thirsties. I let my diapers build up for a week in a plastic like at the diaper service then I took them to the laundromat (in the stroller with my other laundry while baby-wearing my baby). The machines were so big and hot that I never did any special rinses. Just a hot wash with half the detergent worked perfect and I never had to strip my diapers (like I do now that I have hard water in the suburbs; and I now have to do those rinse cycles!).

Why am I Cloth Diapering with Prefolds and Covers for a 3rd Time?

I love prefold diapers and I think that they are highly underrated in the modern cloth diapering world. The modern "all in one" and "insert" diapers are made of synthetic fabrics, take a long time to air dry, are expensive (about $18 each) and can only be used once per washing thus making it financially impossible to have a week's supply. Since you cannot have a huge supply, you are doing laundry every 2-3 days (which is what is recommended anyways). I have other things to do in life and want to do my diapers just once a week so prefolds are great for me. I reuse the covers until they are dirty then toss them in my regular cold wash laundry (although I hand washed them in the city to make my 3-4 covers last all week). After doing laundry, I fold the prefolds in thirds so they are ready to insert in a cover at diapering time. It is then just like putting panties and a pad on the baby; no diaper pins or clips are used in my house! When we have a babysitter, I put the prefold already in the diaper and they change the diaper just like a disposable. It is very easy! Everyone thinks that my diapers must smell. Breastfed only diapers do not smell. When babies start solids, the urine and bowels do start to smell but you flush the bowel down the drain and a good diaper pail will keep the odors out.

Edited to add:
There are details on how to wash and fold prefold diapers now on my blog! They are still my favorite!

Must have baby registry items

Stokke High Chair

As promised in my Useless Baby Registry Items and Useful But Not Necessary Baby Registry Items posts, here is my list of what you must have on your baby registry or in your home. To be truly green would be to make your own items or to have used items. If you cannot find them used or homemade, only buy it if you are sure that you will get very good use out of it for a long time.

1. Baby carrier. Babies are used to being next to your body for nine months. They are calmed by the sounds and smells of your body. When a baby is born, it is widely known that babies do best skin to skin with their mom which is where they are used to being. It only makes sense that when you are out for a walk (or trying to cook dinner), your baby will be most comfortable up against your body. I have often seen screaming newborns being walked or driven around the block in a stroller/carseat to get the child to sleep with the white noise and movement. This seems so silly since the baby just wants to be against a warm human. My husband LOVES wearing our babies (and still our 2 and 4.5 year old!) because it helps him bond a deeper relationship with the baby. I think that he likes the reactions of the people who verbally ooh and ah at the sight of a proud daddy being so loving with his child. Sorry for my tangent!  Anyways, I love the Moby Wrap for newborns and mid-sized babies because it keeps my body in alignment and keeps the baby in healthy alignment. Those mainstream Baby Bijorns are horrible for the baby's hip alignment and get uncomfortable as soon as the baby puts on decent weight.  I also own the Ergo Carrier which I have used from around 5 months until well... my daughter is 4.5 and still loves having a ride on the back when she gets tired of hiking. I never felt right with the Ergo's infant insert so I skipped that.
2. Receiving Blankets. I did not put these on my registry because I did not know that I needed them but it seemed that everyone else knew that I needed them and I received so many that I had to return/exchange some.  Anyways, I used them for a lot of things. I would get a lot of use out of a single blanket by giving it a different purpose each day until it hit the laundry basket: swaddling, burp cloth, under messy diaper changes. They are great to throw in your on the go bag, to have a clean place to change the baby or to tuck over the crib mattress to absorb sleepy drool. Just don't go crazy and collect too many!
3. Cotton Sleep Sacks. Thankfully an experienced mom bought me one of these. They are the greatest way to cover a baby while they sleep.  I love them! You only need 1-2.
4. Plain Cotton Onesies and Sleep-n-Play Outfits. Onesies are great for a baby to lounge in during the summer or to layer underclothes in the winter. The sleep-n-play outfits are the most comfortable thing for babies to wear whether they are awake or asleep. Those other fancy clothes are just irritating and hard to get on and off a newborn.
5. Tummy-time Playmate. It is nice to have a special blanket or a pre-bought playmate that you can use for the baby to play on. I had a mainstream one that I loved because it created a lot of entertainment while my newborn was on tummy time and it folded flat and fit behind the couch when we were not using it. It had toys hanging that we were able to use for several months after my babies were mobile.
6. Boppy Pillow.  The Boppy Pillow is a hard pillow in a special shape to support the baby while your are breastfeeding.  This pillow makes it so much easier to focus on getting a good latch. While pregnant, I use this super firm pillow between my legs when I sleep. I suggest that you buy it new with two covers because babies spit up sometimes and I have seen some gross ones!  If you find one used in good condition then go for it!
7. Incidentials: shampoo, cream, comb, brush. I love California Baby Tea Tree Shampoo, and Weleda Calendula Diaper cream (although I barely use it since I cloth diaper), a soft baby brush and a little comb. I never bought those baby finger nail clippers because another mom warned me that the best way to cut little nails is to tear, bite or file them. She was right! When they get older, our family cutters work perfect.
8. Laundry Detergent and Dryer Balls. Keep the detergent, dye free and fragrance free. Stay away from chemicals because they could irritate the baby's skin plus they damage our environment and our own health. There are many brands out there including: Seventh Generation, Ecos, Biokleen, and Meyers.
9. Wool Nursing Pads. Most women have leakage for months following their milk coming in and find that they need nursing pads between their breasts and bra to soak the leakage up. I was not a fan of the disposable ones (unless going out in a fancy outfit) because they are like maxi-pads and are filled with chemicals that I did not want against by nipples. I used cotton pads for my first baby and found that sometimes I leaked through them. For my second I bought one pair of wool nursing pads and was in love. They are mostly self cleaning so I only washed them once a week. I liked that they were larger so they were not apparent though my cloths and I never felt wet or cold from the milk. I will reuse these again for the #3.
10. Cloth diapers, diaper pail, cloth wipes. If you are interested in cloth diapering, just do it!  All of my kids have been cloth diapered except while traveling and we have loved it. I will do a special post on cloth diapering but I found that good quality prefolds with a good quality cover to be the easiest and cheapest. Since they are so cheap, I have a huge supply so I only wash them once a week. For baby #2 I made some super easy cloth wipes out of cotton flannel and used a spray bottle with water and a drop of castile soap. Add a good diaper pail to your registry either way because you want to keep smells out of your room.
11. Non-toxic Mattress, Crib, sheets, Wool Mattress Pad. These are only useful if you are not going to be co-sleeping. You can certainly buy these used but if you are like me and going for baby #3, you will be glad that you bought high quality new items.  We LOVE wool mattress pads so much that we have them also on our bed and our daughter's twin bed. They regulate temperature, are naturally absorbent and self cleaning!
12. Gender Neutral Car Seat. We had one on our registry for baby #1 even though we were carless in the city. It was helpful when we rented a car or to put the baby in when I wanted to shower since we didn't own a bouncer or swing. If you want to be on the lowest level of consumerism, buy a "convertible" car seat that holds a child from newborn until preschool.  Your primary carseat should be bought new so you know that it has not been in an accident and that the plastic has not become brittle as it aged.
13. Gender Neutral Stroller. Of course if you are going to have more than one child you don't want a gender specific stroller, but I just don't like them in general, sorry. I am glad that we bought our stroller new because it gets a lot of use. We bought it with gift cards and by returning items that we did not need. Everyone has a different need when it comes to strollers. City dwellers go straight for the Maclaren stroller because it is sturdy and folds with one hand to quickly get on buses. Suburban moms often have a garage stroller (aka SUV stroller) that would be large folded up but that they don't fold up but just use around town. These moms keep flimsy umbrella strollers in their car trunk for outings. In the city I just had a Maclaren and now it is my trunk stroller in suburbia. I have a Phil & Teds double stroller (bought used) that is my garage stroller that I use daily to and from preschool, library and parks. My neighborhood has old bumpy sidewalks that this stroller glides over and is extremely easy to push. I love both strollers because they are metal and sturdy. I know people who have bought those strollers with plastic trays and handles. Guess what? Plastic breaks easily! I would not buy a super expensive ($1000) single stroller if you plan to have multiple kids close together because you would hate to have to buy an expensive double stroller so soon (My Phil and Teds converts from single to double!).  Just like breast pumps, cheap strollers are cheap for a reason.  Buy quality and it will treat you well. You can find really good strollers used but you have to look hard because most people who have a great stroller do not want to part with it until it is in shreds when their kid is 6 years old. If you don't walk much then don't bother with a good stroller :)
14. High Chair / Booster. You can completely buy these used but I found most of the used ones had food caked into cracks and knowing that I was going to have multiple kids, I wanted mine new. I knew before I was pregnant that I wanted the Stokke High Chair so it was the first thing that we added to the registry (my husband also fell in love at first sight since this is the only high chair anyone in his home country seems to have). It was the first thing that someone bought off our registry! It slides into our table like a regular chair so the kids feel like part of the family and it does not take up extra space at the table. The chair adjusts as the child grows and can even support adults.  Their ergonomics are always perfect. DO NOT BUY A CLOTH COVERED HIGH CHAIR. Kids get food everywhere and the idea of having a cloth and seams to clean is just gross. I have never seen one that looks good. If you are short on space or funds, a booster seat on top of a regular chair works great and is easy to clean!
15. Bumkins Super Bibs. Those cute cotton bibs are only good for drooling babies. As soon as they eat food those bibs get stained and you can only use them for one feeding. The Bumkins Super Bibs are a vinyl that can be easily wiped after each snack or meal. Then you instantly have a clean bib to reuse. One set of three seems to last through one child from 6 months to 3 years so you can get something gender themed if you please. I have tried endless other plastic and cloth bibs but have not been happy with any of them except for these bibs. They are just the best!

Useful but not necessary baby registry items

Medela Pump-n-Style Breast Pump

As promised in my Useless Baby Registry Items post, this post contains items that you can easily get for free on your local mom boards or www.freecycle.org. You can also find them at yard sales or through other moms for cheap. These are things that are useful if you have the space but they are not at all needed to buy new (or to own). You can see what life is like without them then buy them if you feel that they would be useful. I did not put stroller on this list but it is certainly something that you don't need for a long time if you plan on baby wearing. Both of my kids were about one year when I really put them in (or bought) the stroller.

1. Bouncer, swing, exersaucer. These things are used for a short period and take up a lot of space. If you really want one, borrow one from a friend so you can return it when you are done if you are short on space. A bucket carseat can easily be used to put the baby for a few minutes or in the bathroom for a shower.
2. Changing pad. These create a mattress to change the baby on. I have one and like it but really a towel is just as useful. I know many people who just put a towel on their bed or couch.
3. Pack-n-play portable crib. We travel a good bit but never bothered to get one of these until we went on a trip where we would be sleeping in many different (and often dirty) hotels and cabins. Family was always able to find someone to borrow one from. 
4. A really good breast pump. Use nothing (you can use your hands like women have done for thousands of years!) or pay for something good (like Medela). Cheap pumps are cheap for a reason and do not work well. Most pumps say that you should not share them with other moms but you can as long as the mom did not have an infection. Each brand is different so you have some research to do. I often see really good pumps sold for cheap in mom groups. If you are planning on going back to work full time you should really look into the Medela Pump N Style and consider just adding it to your registry if you cannot find it used from someone who you trust.
5. Towels and washcloths. I was given special baby sized ones as gifts but could have easily lived without them.
6. Bathtub for the sink. This was super useful when bathing a newborn especially mine that had the slanted base for the baby to lay on. My first child was in it for almost 2 years because she loved it so much (although we had to put it inside the big tub)!
7. Mobile. Again these are only on the crib for a short period because they become a danger. Of course it is great to find a cute one that matches the room but there are plenty of moms out there who have them just sitting around in storage. My favorite mobiles are the Waldorf inspired ones that you can make yourself using a branch and felt ornaments or cutouts. I have been making one with simple felt stars for baby #3 (cost = free, look = $150).
8. Co-sleeper and bassinet. If you are gun-ho about co-sleeping, skip the co-sleeper and take apart your bed! A mattress on the floor is easy and cheap. Babies only fit in a bassinet for a short period so if you think that you want one for an area of your home or right next to your bed, borrow it from a friend. 
9. Swaddle me wrap. These are special blankets that make it easy to swaddle the baby. Babies are only swaddled for a short period and it is really easy to swaddle using a receiving blanket. Watch some You Tube videos and you will be all set.

My next post will be your must-have baby registry items so keep reading!

Join a mom's group while still pregnant

It is a great idea to start scoping out the support communities for new moms. Most mom groups accept new members who are pregnant with their first child as well as those seasoned with other kids.  Moms who have had a large gap between children also enjoy being reconnected with a new wave of moms.

I suggest joining the following mom's groups while pregnant:

1. LaLeche League -- They usually have an online loop that you can join (often for free but membership is appreciated) and read all about new moms breastfeeding and seeking help. It is a good way to get some invaluable knowledge in your head before you start learning and teaching breastfeeding to your own baby. Once you have your baby you won't have time to look them up and figure out how to join and what if you need them on day two home from the hospital? It is good to already have contact.
2. Holistic Moms Network -- Since you are reading this blog you are into green living and mindful parenting so this is a national group of like-minded moms who have rocked my world! I started a chapter when there wasn't a local one in my town and was thrilled that my new community had an existing local chapter. There is a yearly fee that is very much worth it.
3. Attachment Parenting International -- This a group that specifically connects parents who are into Attachment Parenting practices (breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, etc.). I have heard great things about this group but had never joined it because I did not realize that our lifestyle feel into this category! Funny how things work out :)
4. Your neighborhood moms group -- They might meet at the local community center or be an organized group through Mothers & More or Meetup. Don't rule out groups that charge a yearly fee ($10-$50 is normal) because they have a lot to offer.

Here are some reasons to join a mom's group while pregnant:

1. Local advise --  Local moms offer local advise on where to go for prenatal massages, birthing classes, acupuncture, and baby supplies. The advise alone is priceless!
2. Free stuff -- Moms are often inundated with baby gifts and sometimes their babies don't even wear an outfit.  Or they have a baby that hates their new swing.  Some moms were blessed with fabulous donations and they want to pass it forward and need someone to share baby gear and clothes with.  It is very helpful to know these moms while pregnant!
3. Post-Partum Support -- These moms are experienced in breastfeeding in public, local lactation consultants, where to meet other new moms at a cafe, and a shoulder to lean on in person or virtually.  Other moms also love to cook for new moms so it is another great reason to make these contacts before the baby arrives. I STILL am very connected with my pre-natal friends from baby #1.  When our babies arrived, we met at least weekly for our own sanity.