Forward to your friends and family: How to help me!

Dear friends and family,

I had [am about to have] a baby!  Yay!  I have no clue how my baby will act from day to day.  Maybe I had a caesarian and cannot even get out of bed alone. Maybe my baby is an innately easy baby that lets me rest or get things done while he/she sleeps. Maybe my baby is super fussy and only naps while having skin contact with me, nursing, and marching up and down the stairs at the same time. We all have different experiences so please help me on my journey and don't judge me.

It used to be that "it takes a whole village to raise a child" and then we all moved away from our families and started working outside the home. In India family takes care of the older kids and home chores for three weeks after the baby is born. I don't live in India and I don't have a village of relatives helping.  I don't live in Europe where spouses get paternity leave.  Some women need help after the first baby and some don't need it until their third. Here are a few ways to help me:

1. Tell me that I am a great mom. I need to hear it.
2. If you ask to help and I don't take you up on your generous offer at first, ask again.  Better yet, just show up at my door with some cooked healthy food. I don't care what it is (but respect me if I have a food restriction). If you don't cook, deliver some pre-prepared food like a fruit salad, bagged salad, or granola and yogurt. The sooner the better and please do not promise food and not deliver it. This is really disappointing.
3. Tell me how great I look. Even if I still look 9 months pregnant and have no makeup on, tell me how radiant I am and how my belly looks like I never had a baby. Lies are okay here.
4. Clean my home. Seriously. Just show up and start washing dishes, sweep my floor, fold clothes, whatever. I will be embarrassed that you are seeing my home in such a mess but I will get over it and love you more for it.
5. Make my older kids go away. If I am not up to the task of delivering them to you, come and get them. Hang out at my place. Take them to the park. Feed them. The longer the better.
6. Make sure that I get some fresh air and a walk everyday. Don't let me tell you that I am afraid of my baby breathing fresh air because it is cleaner than the toxic air in my home (paint, furniture, rugs, germs, lack of vitamin D, you get it).
7. If I mention any issues with breastfeeding, support me with breastfeeding and DO NOT MENTION formula. This advice should only come from a lactation consultant (not you). Don't tell me about someone you know who "supplemented" with formula. Just don't. Instead look up a lactation consultant and get her here within the hour! She'll fix it. Period. Doctors are sort of helpful but they are not experts in lactation and have been known to not spot tongue tie, production issues and other things that lactation consultants are famous for instantly finding from the comfort of your home.
8. Don't let me eat junk food. Food is my fuel.  Junk will not help my milk supply and will make those post baby pounds stay on me.

I promise to return to a new form of normal in a few months and I will be indebted to you!

Love,

Me

10 Ways to Increase your Energy Naturally

Have you felt that afternoon or mid-morning lack of energy? Do you reach for something sweet or caffeinated to give you a jolt? That's right, we all know it. As good as they taste, those sweets and caffeinated foods/beverages give you a cheap thrill of energy then they drain you the rest of the day. Here are 10 ways to increase you energy without sugar or caffeine from my days at Integrative Nutrition (amended for you moms):

1) Reduce or eliminate caffeine: The ups and downs of caffeine include dehydration and blood sugar ups and downs, making mood swings more frequent. If you need something to get you going in the morning try some hot lemon water, a decaf or herbal tea or a weak coffee/tea until you adjust.

2) Drink water: Most Americans are chronically dehydrated. Pregnancy and breastfeeding requires you to consume even more water. Before you go to sugar or caffeine, have a glass of water and wait a few minutes to see what happens. Caution: Soft drinks are now America’s number one source of added sugar. Are you having trouble remembering to drink water? Buy yourself a reusable glass or stainless steel water bottle that makes it convenient and fun.

3) Eat dark leafy green vegetables: Green is associated with spring, the time of renewal and refreshing, vital energy. Greens are full of vitamins and nutrients and great for improving circulation, lifting the spirit, purifying the blood and strengthening the immune system. Broccoli, collards, bok choy, kale, mustard greens, broccoli rabe, arugula and dandelion greens are some of the many to choose from.

4) Use gentle sweets: Avoid sugar and chemicalized artificial sweeteners. Use gentle sweeteners like maple syrup, brown rice syrup, agave nectar and liquid stevia. Also eat sweet vegetables such as yams, carrots and beets especially at lunch.

5) Get physical activity: Start with simple activities, like walking or yoga—start with 10 minutes a day and increase. Make this a standard part of your day. Simple exercises like walking and stretching can be done long before a post-partum mom gets the "okay" from her caregiver to do heavier exercise. Park or get off the train a few extra blocks from your office. Walk the kids to school instead of driving. Do family yoga in the evening.

6) Get more sleep, rest and relaxation: When you are tired or stressed your body will crave energy. Is pregnancy discomfort keeping you up? Do you have a baby waking every few hours for a feeding? As much as possible, go to sleep early and gently mold your baby's sleeping habits to allow for more restful nights. If you need down-time during the day, find a way to make it happen. Hire help if needed.

7) Evaluate the amount of animal food you eat: Eating too much meat, dairy, chicken and eggs can lead to low energy. So can eating too little! Experiment. Respect your body’s individuality.

8) Take time for yourself: Find activities that restore your energy, such as a walk, a bath, a museum, a movie or whatever you enjoy, and schedule a weekly date with yourself to do these things!

9) Get in touch with your spirituality: We are spiritual beings in a physical world. Find ways to get in touch with your spiritual side, be it meditating, dancing, drawing, church, temple or being in nature.

10) Get rid of relationships that drain you: People can drain you of your energy. It doesn’t mean that they are bad, but it is good to notice who drains you and why. See if you can transform those relationships by communicating and setting boundaries, or end the relationship.

The Birth of Baby #3

Not a Pre-Planned Birth

During this blogging experiment, I have been planning and awaiting the arrival of Baby #3. She was due 8/24/12. Like my other babies, that due date came and past. My other two births were pushed along before my body went into labor. For this birth, I was worried that my husband would not be able to make it from work in time. My last labor was only 3 hours and I was thankful that we lived near my husband's work. Now we are in the suburbs and my hospital was even further away (a two hour trip from his office to the hospital). I could use a closer hospital but there is nothing closer that has midwives. So I tried to "plan" the birth! The day before my due date, my husband took the day off and went to my midwife appointment with me. We hoped that she would strip my membranes and send me into labor. Unfortunately the baby was not low enough yet and she worried that the cord could get in the way. So instead we had a "date" and went out to lunch and for a 3 mile hike in a nearby national park. We decided that we would just wait for the baby to be ready and run to the hospital as soon as labor started.

The Birth Story of Baby #3

The three days leading up to my labor, I felt different. I felt the need to sit down for no particular reason. My body does not tell me when I am in early labor so this might have been early labor for me. On the night of 8/30/12, I was mentally ready for the baby to come. I had done several tricks to relax my cervix and my husband was going to be working from home the following day (the eve of Labor Day weekend). It seemed like the perfect timing for the baby to make her arrival. It was almost midnight and I started to have a lot of back pain with a lot of downward pressure. When I stood up, I felt the baby drop so low that she felt like she completely opened my cervix and was between my legs. The back pains were very uncomfortable and I was exhausted from the day. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. I realized that the most intense back pains were coming every 10 minutes thus my labor had started. This baby, like my others was posterior so I get excruciating back pains (plus those regular contractions but who cares about those when my back was being stabbed!). I decided to try to talk myself out of the labor so I could get a little sleep and feel more rested.  I could not lay down because the baby was between my legs and it was extremely uncomfortable.  So I propped myself up on pillows and slept sitting up in bed. I woke up four hours later and was no longer in labor.  Labor restarted at 9am when I was getting ready for my 10am midwife appointment.

On the way to my 41 week midwife appointment, I realized that I was in labor but my contractions were only 10 minutes apart so I thought that I had plenty of time. At the appointment, I felt constant back pain and the need to do small hip rolls although the strongest contractions were still 10 minutes apart. My mom and daughters were in the exam room with me and the kids completely sensed my labor and fought the whole time (after 9 months of them being perfect at my appointments).  I had to send my mom out of the room bribing them with lollipops.  Yes, I knew I was in labor because my kids drove me crazy! My midwife checked me and I was 6 centimeters dilated!  She looked at me in confusion and surprise because I was not in the "heavy labor" that most women would be in at 6 centimeters. I must have been having mini-contractions that were just causing back pain between the larger contractions. At this point, I knew that it was time to head to the hospital that was luckily only five minutes away.

At the hospital, while waiting a few minutes for my room to get ready, I entered active labor so my husband and I did our slow dancing routine during contractions. Slow dancing with him makes my body feel fabulous through contractions and we both love how close we feel with each other. The first 20 minutes in the delivery room had to be spent hooked up to monitors according to hospital protocol. Of course this was not so fun in active labor but I was able to move around and rock my body through contractions. My husband massaged my back and pressed it with a warm pad to help ease the extreme back pain. My previous babies were also posterior so I experienced the same sharp back pains with contractions. This time the back pains did not subside between contractions. I remembered my NYC yoga instructor's advice to go right into the pain and hit it face on with deep exhales (Melissa Feldman -- I still love the Dark Vador exhale)! It is amazing how facing pain head on made my body really release natural pain killers. Or did it make me go into a trance? I don't know but it worked.

During the last contraction on the monitors, my body knew that it was time to move on and my exhale turned into an orgasmic song. The midwife joyfully announced "that's the baby" and I was thrilled to finally be allowed in the jacuzzi tub that I had been eyeing. As soon as I slipped into the tub and put my back against the jets, I was so at ease. All of my back pain went away and my body fully relaxed. I felt like I was on vacation (minus the pina colada and palm trees)! My body gave me a little break from contractions. When the contractions started again they seemed so mild in the water and the tub had taken away my back pain. My husband slipped into the tub behind me so I could use his knees to hold onto. In just a few minutes, my body felt like it was ready to push the baby out and I soon felt my body pushing so I pushed too and the baby came right out in one long push.

The baby, my husband and I enjoyed a beautiful couple minutes embracing each other skin to skin in the tub. I could not believe how great my body felt from being in the tub. When I got out of the tub, and rested with the baby on my chest, I was surprised to have no tares and a placenta that pushed itself out (this was a change from my past tares and pain pushing the placenta out).

Baby Katja Elizabeth was 8 pounds 7 ounces and 20.5 inches long, born posterior after a 3 hour labor! My baby was born loving to suck and insisted on sucking my breasts for her first 1.5 hours of life!

Looking Back

Baby Katja met her sisters a few hours after birth.

It is now a week later and I am still shocked how wonderful the water birth was and would recommend that every pregnant woman get herself a good MIDWIFE and a TUB!  My hospital was far more nurturing and had much warmer staff than I experienced with my NYC hospital births. I was glad that I did not do a home birth (which I wanted with birth #2) because I really needed the distance from my kids. After they would visit for 2 hours each day, I was ready for them to leave and to enjoy quiet time when my baby allowed it.

I am thankful for my body. Genetically I have an incredibly shaped pelvis that has allowed me to easily deliver three posterior babies that most women would require a c-section for. I am also thankful for keeping my body in shape while pregnant. Up until the end (and post due!) I was at yoga class, hiking in the forest, taking my older kids for outings and eating very healthy (especially avoiding sugar and processed foods). This allowed my body to labor nicely and for it to already be in good shape post-partum. All of that coconut oil that I rubbed on my tummy paid off because I still don't have any stretch marks.

Encapsulating my placenta again was a priceless idea. The day that I came home from the hospital, the idea of taking care of a newborn that requires so much time while my older kids were crying, demanding attention, etc. was a stressful thought. I knew that I would have my placenta pills in another day and told myself to save those thoughts until I had my pills. Indeed as soon as I started taking them, I felt so much more at easy with my mothering abilities. My own mother is here to entertain the older kids and keep the house afloat so the real test will be when she leaves us!

I am reminded again that every baby is different. This is the first of our babies that wants to co-sleep.  Katja and I did not sleep well in the hospital with all the interruptions and her wanting to suckle constantly. I even tried a pacifier and sent her to the nursery one night for someone else to hold a pacifier in her mouth so I could get two hours of straight sleep. As soon as we were home in our own bed, Katja was so happy to just sleep cuddled next to me. Last night she even went 6 hours between feedings!

I thank you all for following this blog and will now search for what I should do with the roughly written information that I have posted here.

Warmest regards,
Elizabeth

Eating for two

Image: kratuanoiy
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As you know, I do not believe that you should double your consumption (eating for "two") while pregnant but you should be aware that you are eating for "two" living beings that have nutritional needs.

Eating habits are a very sensitive topic since there are so many food sensitivities and dietary styles.  My professional experience and personal experiences have meshed into these viewpoints.

You are eating for the sole purpose of nourishment and you will not feel satisfied if you are eating foods that your body does not want. That is why you can eat a whole pint of ice cream or a whole bag of chips and feel sick but not satisfied.  It is important to be aware of how balanced your daily foods are and to know if your body is telling you that you are missing something.

Protecting your Own Health

The woman's body is made to take care of the baby first.  So if the mother is not consuming her nutritional needs during pregnancy, the body will take it from other parts of her such as her hair or her teeth.  The body will also hold back nourishing the baby in these areas too.  Mothers who were undernourished during pregnancy especially the first trimester (or had pregnancies too close together) often experience tooth issues after pregnancy or have children who have tooth decay at a very young age. This is important stuff and just popping your prenatal vitamins does not ensure proper nourishment!

Cravings

Food cravings are a wonderful clue.  Our body often gives us a craving when it is missing a nutrient.  The craving usually says "I need something now!" and we often misinterpret that to mean "I really need the  jelly donut that I just saw." During a time of craving, it is good to take a step back and deconstruct why you are having it. Are you thirsty? Are your meals and snacks well rounded enough? Are your fruits and vegetables filled with varying colors (especially dark green)? Are you getting enough protein? Are you getting enough whole grains (not from "whole grain flour" but the real whole grains like brown rice, quinoa, millet, etc.)? Are you getting enough healthy fats (raw olive oil, coconut oil, grass fed butter, etc.)?

Deconstructing your craving can be complicated and I suggest that if you are having regular cravings that you write down everything that you eat daily and try to work out a pattern from day to day.  Maybe you need to change up your breakfast (add some veggies or protein) or add some sweet vegetables to your lunch (beets and carrots are great with dark greens).  When you stop having cravings then you know that your body is in balance.

I have deconstructed many times and now I often crave kale if I am lacking my dark greens.  When I accidentally have not had fruit my mind cannot stop thinking about gummy bears (oh how I love you little guys!).

Nutrient Dense Foods

Calories are not just calories when it comes to being pregnant.  Your body needs certain nutrients in their most wholesome form so you can absorb them best.  This means that it is best to get your serving for fruit from a piece of fruit and not from juice (that lacks active enzymes, fiber, and nutrients). Your body has no need for soda or flavored waters that are filled with chemicals.

Traditionally most cultures had special foods for pregnant women.  They were given the liver, the fatty pieces of meat, bone broths and nutrient dense grains such as quinoa.  If you follow a traditional diet, you will know that these foods are staples for pregnant women. Dr. Weston A. Price discovered almost a hundred years ago that people who still follow these traditional diets while pregnant and while children are young, have the best health and perfect teeth.

I do believe that some people find their optional health while being vegetarians or vegans and that some people find that their dietary needs change during different stages of their lives. Yes, there are plenty of healthy vegetarians and vegans that have healthy babies but you must be careful to make sure that you are eating enough nutrients. I have also met some vegans who attribute their child's growth delays and teeth decay to their lack of nutrient while pregnant. People of all dietary types can fall into the junk food trap of eating protein bars, processed foods (including processed soy), too few fresh fruits and vegetables, and not enough or the wrong types of fats.  Take a step back and look at what you are really eating.

Don't Forget the What to Eat List!

Here.

Wow, I could write a book just on prenatal nutrition so I will just stop this post here :)

Tracking your weight gain

I highly recommend that you track your weight gain for your entire pregnancy.  I am normally not a fan of weight tracking but rather being happy in your body.  Pregnancy is my exception.  The reason is that caregivers really know what they are talking about when they advise you about how much you should gain (some people are advised to lose weight).  The reason is that there is a magic number range*.  If you gain more than this amount then you are gaining more than the baby needs and it is pure weight that you will have to lose later.  If you gain the recommended amount (25-35 pounds for a single baby normal BMI) then you will have very little weight to loose after pregnancy.  PREGNANCY IS NOT A TIME TO EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT AND NOT WORRY ABOUT WEIGHT GAIN!  You need to eat nutrient dense foods that your body will use to nourish the baby and not store as extra fat.  At the same time, part of the recommended weight gain incorporates your body's need to add an extra layer to protect the baby.  So if you are gaining your recommended weight gain, eating healthy and exercising then you should see your body as beautifully building a home for your baby no matter what shape your body decides to look like in the mirror.  Women who struggle with this self image, should seek professional help so they do not accidentally put the health of their baby at risk or hurt their own mental wellbeing.

There are some online weight trackers but I was never fond of them.  I have always liked printing out a chart and putting it on the inside of my closet door.  Then every week at the same time of day on my weigh-in day (do NOT weigh yourself daily), I mark my weight on it.  This is the pre-made chart that I use.  These are the general weight recommendations. I would love to hear if anyone found a good App or website that produces the same chart while showing you your healthy weight gain range.

*Every woman's body is different and reacts uniquely to pregnancy.  Although most baby's require a general weight gain, there are of course exceptions.  Some women have such horrible morning sickness in the first trimester that they are not able to gain weight.  These women have to be especially careful with their nutritional intake because the baby could be stealing nutrients from their bodies, especially the bones and teeth. These babies are more at risk for having digestive and teeth issues later in life. There are ways to prevent this mineral loss through using the eating method from Cure Tooth Decay. This is a great book for anyone requiring any sort of dental work (even healing your own cavities!) as well as those who are worried about causing tooth issues during their pregnancy.